Cartmanception
by the corrupted quiet one
Summary: Wendy's having a rough night thanks to a certain fatass invading her dreams! Candy drabble


The harsh wind blew against Wendy's face, blowing her long ebony hair back as the motorcycle sped down its path. The sun was dimly glowing as it slowly hide more and more behind the indigo mountains, the sky painted a variety of yellows, oranges, reds, and purples as the day departed and night came to take its place. The wind gusts were icy—though that wasn't shocking for Colorado—though the cold didn't matter on a bike ride for two.

The raven haired girl had her was sitting on the back of the bike, the hair that wasn't beneath her baby pink helmet loosely blowing in the wind and her arms tightly wrapped around the burly boy in front of her. She leaned her head on his back, cheek rubbing against thick leather of the other's biker jacket. Her hazel eyes were more focused on the trees and landscape that quickly flew by to really pay much attention to the one gripping the handlebars, though she felt completely at ease with however it was.

The roar of the cycle's engine out all the natural sounds of the mountainside, something Wendy would normally call obnoxious but something she just didn't care about at the moment. Somehow, the mechanical grumble made the moments riding towards the sunset just so...right.

Being on the back of the bike clinging to the cyclist just felt right. Even though she couldn't see his face from where she was, she could still see the man's crimson scarf whip in and out of her view, blowing madly in the wind. When one of her hands reached up to run her fingers through the boy's hair, she only ended up hitting the sleek helmet on his head.

"Hmpf..." She groaned, frowning at the fact that she couldn't touch the other's head on the romantic motorcycle ride through the mountains. Really what else could describe the ride? There was the perfect sunset... The thrill of the chilled air mixed with the warmth of the cyclist's body... And of course the feeling of protection accented by an almost dreamy feel, as though none of this was actually happening...

"Somethin' wrong, babe?" The cyclist asked. This voice, however, wasn't that of the person Wendy expected. Normally, it would be _Stan's_ voice talking to her, being the one with her to give her that loving protective feel like the good boyfriend he was; but instead it was a voice that normally filled her with outright disgust.

The cyclist looked back, turning his head and revealing his face. Instead of dark blue eyes, Wendy stared into pools of melted chocolate. Rather than a few stray ebony locks peeking out from beneath the plastic helmet, there were a few brown curls sticking out. The boy's face wasn't thin like Stan's, but rather curved, even having a double chin formed. This definitely wasn't Stan Marsh; this was Eric Cartman.

Wendy gazed up at Eric, her eyes wide, but not a single hint of hate in her. Normally, the very sight of the boy's face and sound of his voice sent her into a state of pure annoyance and near hate—sometimes even a violent frenzy when in a really bad mood—but not this time. No, instead she actually felt _good_.

Her lips curved into a smile, a raspberry blush coating her cheeks. She had no idea why the sight of Eric was making her heart beat fast—or making her feel anything that wasn't classifiable with antipathy—but she didn't care.

Eric smiled as well, happy to see her grinning like a schoolgirl. Instead of being his usual racist bastard self, he was actually acting civil and tender towards the one he'd labelled 'hippie bitch' for so many years.

Was that even _possible_? Was this _really_ Eric Cartman? It looked like him, but was this _really_ him or just some alien clone or something instead? It was impossible to tell, but Wendy thought she was looking at the real Cartman—no, _Eric._

"Glad ya like the ride," He chuckled over the engine's grumbles, "I can't believe you aren't throwing a shit fit about me riding one of these damn things though." He kept laughing, competing with the sound of the cycle.

Wendy couldn't help but catch the contagious laughter, giggling a bit herself. It was true; she'd normally be calling anyone with a motorcycle a wasteful fag who should get the fuck out of town. But when Cartman was the driver...she didn't want to say that (which likely made even _less_ sense).

The bike picked up speed, going faster as it weaved down the twisted road through the mountains lit only by the setting sun. The two teens' laughter seemed to echo as they zipped down the road, neither of them having a care in the world. Everything was just so peaceful and perfect, what would they care about? It all felt like a living dream...

Dream... That word seemed to set something off in Wendy's mind, her giggles fading a bit.

"Say, Wendy..." Eric said, noticing the black-haired girl's laughter die down, "I...I have something to ask you..."

"Huh?" Wendy looked up at the brown-haired boy, uncertainty mixed with the hazel, "What is it?"

"Well," He cleared his throat, "I think it's time I tell you something...something really important... That involves you... and I guess me... and..."

"Eric, just spit it out already," She rolled her eyes, "If you're going to say something, please, just say it..."

"Jesus Christ calm down!" He frowned, "Anyway...I just wanted to tell you that... that..."

Wendy felt her pulse quicken, having a feeling that—with the set up they were in—Eric was about to give her the most cliché response in the unwritten book of romance; that being something along the lines of 'I love you'. Why did she want to hear those words from him of all people? She didn't have a clue nor did she give a damn; she just wanted to hear it already.

"That...?" Wendy leaned closer to Cartman, staring into his eyes with a hopefully beam, waiting impatiently for that lovely sentence to be finished.

"That..." Cartman closed his eyes, pausing for a long moment. Then, he opened his eyes, a wicked sheen to them as his lips curled into a wicked smirk, "_THAT THIS IS ALL ACTUALLY A DREAM! PHAAAAAAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS ALL JUST SOME FUCKED UP INCEPTION!_"

The mood shattered at the sound of Cartman's cackles, the entire romantic scene around them crumbling, turning into blackness. Her eyes widened, all the loving feelings vanishing, leaving her cold inside as everything was turned upside down.

"Wha...what?"

* * *

><p>Wendy's eyes flashed open, the girl finding herself back home. She wasn't dressed up to go on a romantic motorcycle ride, she was lying in bed, the warm wool covers wrapped around her, keeping her cosy as she slept. However, cosy was far from what she was feeling.<p>

_No... I-I didn't just... Dream of..._ Her eye twitched as she kept remembering the dream—no, _NIGHTMARE_. Her skin went pale at the thoughts of her heart beating fast for _him_. Her face wrinkled recalling how she thought of Cartman in a way that was even slightly romantic. Her stomach churned at the dreaded idea of actually hoping he'd say the damned words 'I love you'.

"Oh god," Wendy moaned, carefully sitting up. She felt her head spinning, trying to adjust back to reality, "I...I think I'm gonna be sick..." Another moan left her mouth as she put a hand on her head, looking around as the room went from dark hazy blurs to distinguishable shapes.

"Well...that was disturbing..." Wendy muttered, smiling a bit to herself only because the nightmare appeared to be over, "At least it's over."

"That's what you think, hippie bitch!"

Wendy shuddered at the sound of Cartman's voice, her eyes quickly shifting to the window, where she heard the sound. She felt her stomach roll over in her body when she saw _that face_ smiling at her from the other side of the pane.

Eric's grin widened when he caught site of the hazel, the devilish sparkle in his eyes becoming brighter. He lifted his hand and waved to the girl on the other side, a gesture that only made her eyes widen even more.

Eric pushed on the glass, the window opening without a struggle. It was unlocked the whole time, although Wendy was positive she'd locked it before she went to bed...

He crawled—well, more rolled—through the window, planting his feet on the lavender carpet before sauntering towards the girl in her bed.

"Miss me?" He asked.

Wendy only had one answer to that.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!"

* * *

><p>The next thing Wendy knew, she was screaming her lungs sore, sitting up in bed from a horrible nightmare that happened within a nightmare. Eric Cartman was nowhere to be found, the teenage girl the only one in the room.<p>

Her hazel eyes flickered open, darting for the window. All she could see was the picturesque night mountain scene that always sat on the other side of the locked glass pane, no horrible intruders or anything.

She let out a sigh, relieved that all that was over _again._

"Oh god..." Wendy pressed her palm to her forehead, "I must be getting sick or something... Fuck, no more psychological movies before bed..." She _knew_ watching Inception was a bad idea!

That was when a light bulb clicked. _Inception..._

"I had a dream...within a dream..." But what was that one thing Cartman said on the bike ride? Something about everything being some crazy inception, "If he means inception like in the movie...Then this would be a dream...within a dream..._"_

"_Within a dream!"_ Eric's voice rang in her ears once again, coming from basically everywhere, as though he was behind every wall while still being on person.

Wendy was silent a long moment, thinking about what to do.

"...Fuck you Cartman; I'm going back to bed." Wendy spat, grabbing the covers and pulling them over her head. This was all a dream, so what was the point? Eventually she'd wake up and it would all be over.

Then that romantic bike ride would all just be a hazy memory that never happened.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I don't know I just wrote this. Ah Candy, so angsty :3 I mainly like it one sided though. Anyway, I got this idea because in one clip from Black Cat there was a still of Train and Kyoko and it looked a lot like Wendy and Cartman. So I was like "I'll write something like this!" and tada. The ending is kinda shitty, I know, but it's the best I can do considering I'm under the weather. Damn head colds always fuck with my writing groove. Anyway, thanks for reading! Leave a review! I hope you liked my meh attempt at Candy (oh god I feel like they were so badly done TTATT I'm sorry, they had to start of OOCish due to the dream sequence I know I suck) ~CQO**


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